When you are in a relationship try to accept the pros and cons of the person you are in relationship with, as you will notice the spark sets to diminish once you start getting aware of the dissimilarities in opinion, ideas and ways of seeing things, the mutual disagreement arises and then the intensity of the attraction diminishes day to day, after a while the very facade of your relationship turns into a sea of conflicts and mutual disagreements.
Get the intellect into play and try to sort it out, fighting will not help anyhow, remember you still have that strong bond of physical , muscle memory and mind , so decoding it all due to a fight/spat can be difficult, instead of facing the ruff storms of relationship, keep in mind if you enter into a relationship it is not going to be a smooth ride for a while , as soon as the honeymoon period gets over, you have to be more rational and aware of what is going on and somebody has to balance the act , dont ever try to escape the harsh reality being unfolded right in front of you which may arise due to the animosity between you and your loved one, if you try to escape it you will just enter a downward spiral.
When we enter a relationship all of us may have some set of weird expectations , some people have a lot of em, some people have less, but if you look you will have some physical, social, mental , sexual or spiritual needs and keeping these needs at check is really important. A partner has to flow with you like water , if you want to be solid and she wants to be liquid then it wont work trust me, why to keep expectation on someone you love, expectation will drive desires and some expectation which are not meet will result in multiple unfulfilled desire and BOOM YOU ENTER THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL.
Usually what the rule is, we cant have sex with other people while we are in relationship, this expectations if fails ends everything. Imagine if you dont have this expectation which is difficult to erase because it has been hard-coded in us by our social framework, life will be super-easy for you, a lot of people with open relationships are darn satisfied with it.
Most of our decision and inferences about our partner are based upon assumptions. and these assumptions tend to develop overtime and combine to form a cyst in our mind, it can be 0 percent to or 100 percent true who knows, but assumption are not facts, so you can entertain them but dont believe them, so based on these weird out of the box assumptions that kinda make us feel depressed, better to find internal mechanisms to counter them.
As simple as this, there is a big difference between love and attachment, you get attached to a lot of things around you , the intensity of attachment can differ from person to person and material to material, our life is very precious, we are designed to know about our inner self rather than the external world, or the physical world because everything has soul, but the external condition forces or lets say molds a person perception to develop a huge cyst of ego which has to be dissolved in order to find the right love, Love and Ego cant be equated together, love is about acceptance and calmness, Ego is just a filter of our psyche , an integral part of our internal archetype.By imposing intense malicious beliefs will definitely results in personal vendetta, it is just equal to brainwashing a child into a killer and diminishing his or her rational side. same can happen with mature human beings, brainwashing can be done in many ways.
When we are together we weave memories together with our partner, and because of some discontent we try to move away and hence those memories start to disintegrate in an unstructured way and then these set of fading memories take a new form which results in a painful manifestation of reality and a state of short-term or long-term dampness.
So in short it is better that we dont make a list of expectations from our partner, accept them with open hand and detach with them with open hand, dont rebuke or abuse because that will only result in pain on real time as well as on long time basis.No attachment, No expectation , only love & acceptance can save you from this emotional catastrophe.